The #1 strategy for unlocking your best life is…
Take 100% responsibility for your own life.
It may seem quite obvious. You might be surprised at how many of us are not doing this in all areas of our life. As I dig deeper and deeper into how to coach for true lasting transformation with my clients, THIS is the #1 strategy that makes all the difference.
It may seem quite obvious. Maybe it is even easy for you to say, “Sure, I am responsible for my own life”. May I challenge you a bit? Take a minute to think about those areas of life that it is easy to give credit (aka blame) to someone else for why you have the circumstances or results that you do. Think about your attitudes, your health, your wealth, your relationships, your business and your movement toward making positive impact in the world. Where are you not taking full responsibility? Where you are putting the responsibility or blame on someone or something else for your experiences or outcomes?
Ok, you have probably thought of at least one example. We all have areas of life that we have not totally done the work to be completely accountable for our good and bad stuff. I certainly do too. It is so much easier to credit our parents or spouse or healthcare professional or Google for goodness sake for the outcomes we are unhappy with in life.
It may seem quite obvious. Here are some general reasons I want you to ponder about why this strategy is so important.
When you DO NOT take 100% responsibility for your own life:
- You will interpret problems incorrectly
- You will treat problems ineffectively
- You will be stuck in ruts
- You will not fully heal hurts
- You will miss personal victory
- You will forgo great joy
- You will lack true fulfillment
- You will compartmentalize your life
- You will feel unbalanced
When you DO take 100% responsibility for your own life:
- You ask yourself powerful questions
- You are in control of your choices, attitudes and behaviors
- You are honest with yourself about what needs to be worked on
- You resource yourself better
- You create different experiences and outcomes
- You enjoy meaningful and lasting change
- You react actively and purposefully
- You have more joy and fulfillment
- You integrate your life well
So... easier said than done, right?
Today I taught a video on HOW to take 100% responsibility for your own life.
You can watch the video teaching by visiting our Unlocking YOUR Best Life facebook page and find the video titled "How to apply the #1 Life Strategy for Unlocking Your Best Life" from10/01/19
Here are some of the notes from today's discussion on HOW to apply this strategy:Define what is not working for you FIRST. Here are some examples
- What is it that I don’t like or want to change in my life?
- What did I do to allow the situation to exist at all?
- What did I do to bring about the current situation or result?
- Did I trust someone I should not have because I rushed into the trust?
- Did I miss important warning signs?
- Was I clear about my expectations of what I wanted?
- Did I convince myself because I wanted it to be true?
- What choices did I make that led to this result?
- Did I choose the wrong person or place or thing to bring about this current circumstance?
- Was it the wrong timing?
- Did I choose the wrong reasons?
- Did I fail to act?
- Did I fail to stand up for myself?
- Did I fail to ask for what I wanted?
- Did I fail to honor my core values and beliefs?
- Did I fail to respect myself or the other persons involved?
- Did I mistreat someone?
- Do I need to start certain behaviors?
- Do I need to stop certain behaviors
- List 3 specific incidents in life where you felt victimized, mistreated or had no control over the outcomes.
- List just the actual facts of the incident
- Go back and list the emotions with each of these facts
- List what exactly you could have done differently to have a different result
- Learn and shift any victim thinking to total accountability and responsibility for our own outcomes in the future
- You made the choice
- You invited that person
- You took the job
- You wanted more kids
- You chose the feelings
- You believed them
- You ate it
- You didn’t clean it up
- You left it in the car overnight
- You didn’t follow your dreams
- You didn’t put in the effort
5. Implement this new method to create your own experience and results.
We know that Thoughts => Feelings => Actions => Results => Experiences
For example: We thought someone was rude => we feel anger & bitterness => we avoid that person => Isolation => we don't get to participate in a project with others
- Guard your thoughts – negative self-talk
- Own your feelings and process them
- Chose the action for the result you want
- Consistently take action to get the results you want
- Where to be
- How to act
- What to say
- What to do
- Whom to be with
- What to concentrate on
- What to believe
- When to go along
- When to resist
- Whom to trust
- Whom to avoid
- How you react
- How you prepare
- What you say to yourself about: self, others, risks, wants, needs, desires, dreams, rights, worth
Always with hugs,