The # 1 Strategy for Unlocking Your Best Life

The #1 strategy for unlocking your best life is…     

Take 100% responsibility for your own life.

It may seem quite obvious.  You might be surprised at how many of us are not doing this in all areas of our life.   As I dig deeper and deeper into how to coach for true lasting transformation with my clients, THIS is the #1 strategy that makes all the difference.  

It may seem quite obvious.  Maybe it is even easy for you to say, “Sure, I am responsible for my own life”.    May I challenge you a bit?  Take a minute to think about those areas of life that it is easy to give credit (aka blame) to someone else for why you have the circumstances or results that you do.  Think about your attitudes, your health, your wealth, your relationships, your business and your movement toward making positive impact in the world.   Where are you not taking full responsibility?   Where you are putting the responsibility or blame on someone or something else for your experiences or outcomes?

Ok, you have probably thought of at least one example.   We all have areas of life that we have not totally done the work to be completely accountable for our good and bad stuff.   I certainly do too.  It is so much easier to credit our parents or spouse or healthcare professional or Google for goodness sake for the outcomes we are unhappy with in life.    

It may seem quite obvious.  Here are some general reasons I want you to ponder about why this strategy is so important.

When you DO NOT take 100% responsibility for your own life:

  • You will interpret problems incorrectly
  • You will treat problems ineffectively
  • You will be stuck in ruts
  • You will not fully heal hurts
  • You will miss personal victory
  • You will forgo great joy
  • You will lack true fulfillment
  • You will compartmentalize your life
  • You will feel unbalanced

 When you DO take 100% responsibility for your own life:

  • You ask yourself powerful questions
  • You are in control of your choices, attitudes and behaviors
  • You are honest with yourself about what needs to be worked on
  • You resource yourself better
  • You create different experiences and outcomes
  • You enjoy meaningful and lasting change
  • You react actively and purposefully
  • You have more joy and fulfillment
  • You integrate your life well

So... easier said than done, right?   

Today I taught a video on HOW to take 100% responsibility for your own life. 

You can watch the video teaching  by visiting our Unlocking YOUR Best Life facebook page  and find the video titled "How to apply the #1 Life Strategy for Unlocking Your Best Life from10/01/19

Here are some of the notes from today's discussion on HOW to apply this strategy:

Define what is not working for you FIRST.  Here are some examples
    Don’t like your job, Relationship is on the rocks, You are overweight, Don’t have close friendships, Have trust issues, Unhappy, Too busy, Exhausted, Hurt, Angry, Bitter, You aren’t writing your book, You have too much debt.....
    2.  Ask yourself the powerful questions that you will honestly answer to take responsibility for change.  Here are some of these questions:
    • What is it that I don’t like or want to change in my life?
    • What did I do to allow the situation to exist at all?
    • What did I do to bring about the current situation or result?
    • Did I trust someone I should not have because I rushed into the trust?
    • Did I miss important warning signs?
    • Was I clear about my expectations of what I wanted?
    • Did I convince myself because I wanted it to be true?
    • What choices did I make that led to this result?
    • Did I choose the wrong person or place or thing to bring about this current circumstance?
    • Was it the wrong timing?
    • Did I choose the wrong reasons?
    • Did I fail to act?
    • Did I fail to stand up for myself?
    • Did I fail to ask for what I wanted?
    • Did I fail to honor my core values and beliefs?
    • Did I fail to respect myself or the other persons involved?
    • Did I mistreat someone?
    • Do I need to start certain behaviors?
    • Do I need to stop certain behaviors
    3. Reframe history so that you can learn from it.  This is not about blaming. This exercise is about taking responsibility for past choices to take different action going forward. 
    • List 3 specific incidents in life where you felt victimized, mistreated or had no control over the outcomes.
      • List just the actual facts of the incident
      • Go back and list the emotions with each of these facts
      • List what exactly you could have done differently to have a different result
      • Learn and shift any victim thinking to total accountability and responsibility for our own outcomes in the future
    4.  Make a list of  the current reality of your choices that are affecting your results and experiences.   Here are some examples.
    • You made the choice
    • You invited that person
    • You took the job
    • You wanted more kids
    • You chose the feelings
    • You believed them
    • You ate it
    • You didn’t clean it up
    • You left it in the car overnight
    • You didn’t follow your dreams
    • You didn’t put in the effort

    5. Implement this new method to create your own experience and results. 

    We know that Thoughts => Feelings => Actions => Results => Experiences

    For example:  We thought someone was rude =>  we feel anger & bitterness => we avoid that person => Isolation => we don't get to participate in a project with others

    • Guard your thoughts – negative self-talk
    Action: Make a list of all the negative self-talk that pops up for 24 hours
    • Own your feelings and process them
    Action:  When you feel a shift in mood, name the emotion that comes up so you can decide how to take responsibility for changing it
    • Chose the action for the result you want
    Action: DO the work to figure out what consistent actions will get you the result you want
    • Consistently take action to get the results you want
    Action:  develop the habits, patterns and behaviors 
    6. Own the responsibility for the choices you make
    • Where to be
    • How to act
    • What to say
    • What to do
    • Whom to be with
    • What to concentrate on
    • What to believe
    • When to go along
    • When to resist
    • Whom to trust
    • Whom to avoid
    • How you react
    • How you prepare
    • What you say to yourself about: self, others, risks, wants, needs, desires, dreams, rights, worth
    You can watch FULL 30 minute video teaching  by visiting our Unlocking YOUR Best Life facebook page  and find the video titled "How to apply the #1 Life Strategy for Unlocking Your Best Life from10/01/19
    YOU deserve to take 100% responsibility for unlocking YOUR best self and YOUR best life. 
    Hope to see you soon. 


    Always with hugs,


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